Wake up, wake up, wake up, it's the first of the month....

I have finally woken up. I've been looking back on my lifestyle for the past several years and have come to realize that I basically pissed my 20s away. I'm am 28 years old, and I have never felt comfortable in my own skin. I think I look okay, but one of the many evils of Facebook, "the tag" proves me wrong. Could I untag myself? Well sure, but what good will that do? So above is a picture that was tagged of me. Am I pregnant? No...I just look like I am.

I'm a huge foodie. I love to eat. When I vacation somewhere I want to check out new restaurants. If I'm celebrating something, I eat. If I'm sad I eat. If I'm bored I eat. I've never been one to eat when I'm hungry, I've always eaten by times. Mom always taught me to clean my plate, and I still do that to this day. Grossly stuffed or not.

I've done a number of 5ks, 5 mile, and even 7 mile runs. I do it for the charity and the free t-shirt, but I never set a time goal for myself. By the time I get to the one mile marker in a 5k, people are already on their way back to the finish line. I'd love to be that fast, but my lack of commitment with training and being overweight has hindered that.

I'm trying to focus on positive reasons to change my lifestyle.

* Better health

* Lower health care costs

* Running faster

* Lower risks when I DO decide to have little ones (not anytime soon).

* Not having to buy bigger clothes! My closet ranges from size 14-6. I can't wait to go shopping in my closet again.

There have been some "negative" reasons that I would like to lose. I hate hearing, "She has such a pretty face," or "If she lost 20 pounds, she would look stunning." I'm tired of my mother in law calling me fat, my brother's soon-to-be wife calling me a fat ass, and I'd love to stick it to one of my old best friends for starving herself and popping diet pills. Everytime I think of these three people, I just get angry and eat. So now when I think of them, I will not let it affect me. I feel by constantly brining me down, they are battling their own personal demons. A positive attitude may not solve all my problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Let things roll off my back, if it doesn't apply-let it fly.

I was also invited by community partners to be on an Obesity Coaltion. I've attended two meetings, and I felt so out of place. Here I am trying to figure out ways to help the community become more active and lose weight, and I am obese myself. I felt like a damn hypocrite. The leader showed us a picture of his graduating class in 1967, and then showed one from the same school 40 years later. The children are twice the size as the 1967 class. What will the future hold for our children? I don't want my children to follow in my footsteps. Over time spent on the Weight Watchers boards and with my lady friends on Google, I feel I've gained a lot of knowledge about weight loss and exercise, but I have this issue with applying it.

So with this blog, I'm hoping it will hold me accountable to losing weight and feeling good. I need to learn to "eat to live, not live to eat."

Oh yeah...here is my Horoscope from The Onion:

Sagittarius: You will come face to face with your worst fears this week after standing in front of a bathroom mirror.

It's like, they have ESPN or something....

Upcoming race schedule:

Susan B. Komen Race for the Cure: June 12, 2010

The Bix 7: July 24, 2010

The Quad City Half Marathon: September 26, 2010