I'm back....to where I was in September.

Well at least its not to where I was in June. I'm so close to hitting ten pounds and being out of the 180s I can freaking taste it.

I've had a lot of crap going on the past couple months and I just need to sit back and take time to get things figured out. I've never been so stressed out in my life, but you know what? During this whole time I did not turn to food. Normally I would eat my feelings, but for once in my life I didn't. I remember one of my WW leaders from long ago told me that, "If hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer."

I have also found myself listening to my body on when to stop eating. Before I would smash anything in front of me and not think twice about it. Now, especially when I'm out to eat, I stop. I try to order something that I can take for leftovers, so its also a financial reason too. My bff and I actually split meals once in awhile. We worry it wont be enough, but its always more than plenty.

My 29th birthday is next week. I'm going to enjoy myself, but not go overboard. Being in the 170s would be a nice birthday present, but sometimes life gets in the way, and I'm okay with that.

In the words of Donald Trump....you're fired.

I got let go from my bartending job yesterday. I am super bummed because I'm being accused of something I did not do. Did I get to explain myself? No. You know what's awesome? They wrote it on a note and attached it to my check (which was shorted seven hours btw).

I'm trying to look at this as a blessing in disguise. It will suck not having the extra money, but I'm the type of person where the more I make the more I spend. Also working two jobs and late nights during the week have worn on me some. Tuesday nights I'd be lucky to get three hours of sleep and then go to my main job all day. So now I will have more time/energy to work out and I wont be tempted by free bar food.

The last month has taken a toll on me. I haven't exercised, I had fast food twice, and I started drinking soda again. While bartending was for extra/fun money, it was really helping me pay down my debt. I can't decide if I should find something else or chill out for awhile. My main job has been stressful, its Christmas time, and personal things with friends and such had a speed bump.

I was driving the other day and I could feel my stomach sitting on my legs. I have a feeling that I am destined to be overweight. I know how to lose weight, but I'm having a hard to commmitting to it. I thought about joining WW again, but with me losing my job there is no wsy. They say everything happens for a reason, so I'd like to know why I've been shit on the past few weeks. I know people are in a worse situation than me, but still, I hate feeling like crap and moody.

But somehow I'm down to 183 when I was at 185 last week. So thats cool, right?